1
00:00:00,010 --> 00:00:03,319
? Terrible Tudors
Gorgeous Georgians

2
00:00:03,320 --> 00:00:04,479
? Slimy Stewarts
Vile Victorians

3
00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:07,359
? Woeful wars, ferocious fights
Dingy castles, daring knights

4
00:00:07,360 --> 00:00:10,079
? Horrors that defy description
Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians

5
00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:12,639
? Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes
Punishment from ancient times

6
00:00:12,640 --> 00:00:13,999
? Romans, rotten, rank and ruthless

7
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,399
? Cavemen, savage
Fierce and toothless

8
00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:18,039
? Groovy Greeks, brainy sages
Mean and measly Middle Ages

9
00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:20,799
? Gory stories
We do that

10
00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:23,359
? And your host
A talking rat

11
00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:26,279
? The past is no longer a mystery

12
00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:27,600
? Welcome to... ?

13
00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:34,880
Horrible Histories presents...

14
00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:42,079
Ah! Who doesn't love going
on their holibobs by the sea?

15
00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:45,679
I adore a trip to the
beach with my family

16
00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:48,079
and King George III was the same.

17
00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:49,839
He especially loved holidaying

18
00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:52,119
in the British
seaside town of Weymouth,

19
00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:55,359
although his family were
slightly less keen on the trips.

20
00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:56,719
SEAGULL TRILLS

21
00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:59,319
Oh, no! This happens every time.

22
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:01,400
My hair is not a nest!

23
00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:04,039
Family on tour!

24
00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:06,159
So excited!

25
00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:08,999
OK, Dad, tell us where we are.

26
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:12,559
Oh, well, we are in Dorset
on a royal family holiday

27
00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:13,959
going to the best town ever.

28
00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:15,439
What could be better, girls,

29
00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:17,399
than going to Weymouth?

30
00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:20,479
Er, NOT going to Weymouth.

31
00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:21,999
That would be better.

32
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:24,639
{\an8}Weymouth is more dull and stupid
than I can find words to express.

33
00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:28,119
{\an8}You're the King, Father,
we could literally go anywhere.

34
00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:33,039
I know, which is why we're doing
a special surprise stop on the way!

35
00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:34,599
It better not be a farm.

36
00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:36,120
HORSES NEIGH

37
00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:41,159
Ooh! Hello, piggies!

38
00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:44,239
Isn't it great? I love farms!

39
00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:46,239
I can't believe you're my sister!

40
00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:48,919
{\an8}SQUELCH
Urgh! I stepped in something!

41
00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:50,519
{\an8}Argh!

42
00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:54,679
Did you like the farm? Now
I'm bored and I smell of cows.

43
00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:57,279
Right! Girls...

44
00:01:57,280 --> 00:01:59,959
...let's do a bit of Weymouth
shopping, shall we?

45
00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:02,119
Shop till we drop,
that'll cheer you up.

46
00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:03,719
It's half past five in the morning,
Daddy.

47
00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:06,679
I know, that's why I had my
favourite shop, Delamotte,

48
00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:09,039
open specially.

49
00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:10,959
{\an8}Look at the shopkeeper,
loves getting up at 5am.

50
00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:15,239
This holiday's almost as bad as last
year's. In fact, it IS as bad.

51
00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:18,239
It's the same exact holiday again!

52
00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:20,199
Although I guess last
year's was a bit worse

53
00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:21,719
because we had to go on a boat trip.

54
00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:23,239
BELL RINGS
Boat trip!

55
00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:24,599
SHE GROANS

56
00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:26,679
Bup-bup-bu-bup! Weymouth!

57
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,239
SHE RETCHES

58
00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:30,999
I've got nothing left in me
to throw up.

59
00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:34,039
It's all the excitement
of being on a boat.

60
00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:35,279
She's loving it.

61
00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:36,839
SHE RETCHES

62
00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:38,159
BELL RINGS

63
00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:41,920
I think it's safe to say that
was a huge success.

64
00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:45,039
SHE RETCHES

65
00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:48,319
Please, Father, we're so miserable!

66
00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:51,679
Fine. I give up. Never again.

67
00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:53,159
Really, Father? Thank you!

68
00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:54,479
Brush your teeth first.

69
00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:57,479
Now we can find somewhere
else to holiday finally.

70
00:02:57,480 --> 00:02:59,399
Oh, no, I meant we'll
never do the boat trip again.

71
00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:01,559
We'll definitely come
back to Weymouth. Yay!

72
00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:04,799
{\an8}Weymouth is cool! Weymouth!

73
00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:06,119
SHE RETCHES

74
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:09,839
Hello, holiday-makers!
Queen Victoria here.

75
00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:11,599
Queen of Great Britain and Ireland,

76
00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:13,559
Empress of India

77
00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:15,879
and massive fan of
going on holibobs!

78
00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:18,399
In addition to ruling
and having lots of children,

79
00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:21,239
I did like to be beside the seaside.

80
00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:24,799
I was a particularly big fan of
going wading in the sea.

81
00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:28,319
My husband, Albert, even persuaded
me that the salty water

82
00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:29,919
was good for my health.

83
00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:33,399
But tell me, what special bit
of equipment did I like to use

84
00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:35,919
when I went to the sea?

85
00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:37,080
Was it...

86
00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:49,879
The answer was...

87
00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:54,039
B, a big shed on wheels
called a bathing machine,

88
00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:55,359
like this one.

89
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:58,279
It would be wheeled into the sea
with me inside it,

90
00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:01,239
so then I could get out into
the water without prying eyes

91
00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:04,479
watching me and splash around
a bit, hmm!

92
00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:07,679
And let me tell you,
this ride was pimped!

93
00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:09,279
It's got a changing room in there

94
00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:12,599
and curtains that go around the
front, so I couldn't be seen.

95
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:16,239
And there's even a royal
working toilet inside.

96
00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:18,679
TOILET FLUSHES
I might be the Queen,

97
00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:20,960
but I do not royal wee in the sea!

98
00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:23,720
Unless it's an emergency.

99
00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:30,000
Excuse me! Monarch on the move!

100
00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:34,919
Agatha? Agatha?!

101
00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:36,280
That can't be you.

102
00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:42,239
John! What brings you to Hawaii?

103
00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:46,159
You, Agatha! I publish your books
and we're expecting another one.

104
00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:49,119
I did not expect to find you,
Agatha Christie, detective writer,

105
00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:51,439
on a beach in a...

106
00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:52,799
It's a bathing suit, John.

107
00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:55,239
Whatever it is. It's not a book
and that's what we need.

108
00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:56,399
People need more Poirot.

109
00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:58,479
I've been trying to get a hold of
you for weeks.

110
00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:00,959
Well, you've caught me red-handed.

111
00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:02,119
Why are you even here?

112
00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:04,759
Because of that little lady
over there, Jonathan.

113
00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:06,559
I can't see anyone.
Is it, Miss Marple?

114
00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:09,159
The sea, John.
Do you know what this is?

115
00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:12,199
Er, an insole for a very big shoe?

116
00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:15,439
It's a surfboard, John!
I've been learning to surf.

117
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,519
So what are you now,
a-a-a surfer?

118
00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:20,039
Could we at least fix a
typewriter on this thing?

119
00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:22,919
I'm still a ground-breaking
crime novelist, John. I've just

120
00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:26,599
discovered a totally epic new hobby
while on my vacation.

121
00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:31,439
Well, you know what would be
"totally epic", Agatha? A new book!

122
00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:33,679
I do have a new idea for a book.

123
00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:36,559
Oh, great. It's about
a British prince...

124
00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:38,199
Terrific. ..who gets murdered...

125
00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:41,279
Intriguing. ..while
surfing in Hawaii!

126
00:05:41,280 --> 00:05:42,839
Oh, that's ridiculous!

127
00:05:42,840 --> 00:05:44,879
People simply won't
take you seriously

128
00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:47,759
if you keep telling
tales about surfing princes.

129
00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:51,159
Edward! John, have you
met the Prince of Wales?

130
00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:52,639
{\an8}What is...?

131
00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:55,919
{\an8}Ha... Hail, your wonderful Majesty.

132
00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:59,279
Chill, bro. Oh, it's
awesome out there, Agatha.

133
00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:00,639
I just stood up on the board.

134
00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:03,279
I think I'm the first
British dude to do it.

135
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:04,680
Check this out.

136
00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:07,319
Woohoo!

137
00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:08,919
Later, bro!

138
00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:12,439
Tell me more about this royal murder
story then, how does it start?

139
00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:16,039
Well, the prince is in the water
and there may be a shark. Hmm.

140
00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:17,439
It's a great first chapter.
No, no, no!

141
00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:19,279
The Prince is in the water
and there may be a shark!

142
00:06:19,280 --> 00:06:21,600
Your Royal Highness, watch out!

143
00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:28,479
It's true. Famous crime writer
Agatha Christie

144
00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:30,839
really did get hooked on surfing

145
00:06:30,840 --> 00:06:33,559
and her surfboard really
was called Fred.

146
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,959
When I go abroad on my hols,

147
00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:41,279
as well as souvenir hunting
in their exotic bins and sewers,

148
00:06:41,280 --> 00:06:43,159
I love a bit of sightseeing -

149
00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:45,199
and people in the past did, too.

150
00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:50,199
Alexander the Great once actually
took a break from waging a war

151
00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:52,999
so he could go and visit
the tomb of his hero,

152
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:55,799
the legendary Greek
warrior Achilles.

153
00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:57,759
Oh, oh!
They're emptying the bins!

154
00:06:57,760 --> 00:07:01,200
I've got to get a snap. Oh, oh!
The bins. Mm!

155
00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:05,319
Hail, fair Alexander.

156
00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:07,999
Welcome to the ruins
of ancient Troy.

157
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:09,199
Thanks, buddy.

158
00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:11,799
We're actually on our way to
attack the Persian Empire but, er,

159
00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:13,839
we couldn't resist a little
holiday in Troy on the way.

160
00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:17,359
All war and no play makes
Alexander the Great a dull,

161
00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:19,879
and yet still strangely awesome, emperor.

162
00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:23,079
Well, let me be your tour guide
to this historic ruin.

163
00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:25,439
All I ask is the honour
of your company

164
00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:26,960
and also a large bag of coins.

165
00:07:26,961 --> 00:07:29,279
Right, what do
you want to see?

166
00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:31,679
Show me the resting
place of Achilles,

167
00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:35,719
the greatest of the Greek warriors
and hero of the Trojan War.

168
00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:37,159
Behold...

169
00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:38,959
...the tomb of Achilles!

170
00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:40,319
Oh, it's right there, bro.

171
00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:42,359
Eeh! I can't believe I'm stood

172
00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:45,039
right in front of
the actual tomb of Achilles!

173
00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:46,679
Hephaestion, look!

174
00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:48,679
Yeah, I'm looking. It's great, bro.

175
00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:50,039
You really like Achilles.

176
00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:51,519
Oh, yeah. Yeah, massive fan.

177
00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:53,359
I even sleep with a dagger
under my pillow,

178
00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:54,679
just like he did.

179
00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:56,279
You know, I always
tell Hephaestion,

180
00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:57,959
if I have an Achilles heel,

181
00:07:57,960 --> 00:08:00,399
it's probably how much
I love Achilles!

182
00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:01,879
Yeah, he's always saying that, bro.

183
00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:04,959
Oh, it's good to meet someone
who respects the legends of Troy.

184
00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:06,199
Just a bit.

185
00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:08,879
Might have to pour a load of oil
over the tomb in tribute!

186
00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:10,759
Whoa, there it goes!

187
00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:12,479
You probably don't need
that much oil.

188
00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:14,439
You know what? I'm going to
crown it in garlands, too.

189
00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:15,719
Garlands and oil!

190
00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:17,319
Oh, do we have
to spend ALL day

191
00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:18,679
at the tomb of Achilles, bro?

192
00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:20,759
Er, yeah. In fact,

193
00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:22,439
I'm going to run
around it naked.

194
00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:23,759
{\an8}Race you, Hephaestion!

195
00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:24,959
{\an8}Does he do this a lot?

196
00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:26,559
Yeah. You better join in,

197
00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:28,279
otherwise he gets a bit grumpy.

198
00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:29,639
Oh, watch out for the oil!

199
00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:30,880
Whoa! Oh!

200
00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:35,199
Ha! Who wants to go
and look at famous landmarks

201
00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:36,999
when you can look at me?!

202
00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:40,679
Yes, when I, the great
Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte

203
00:08:40,680 --> 00:08:42,319
was captured at Waterloo,

204
00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:44,679
the impressive sight
that people travelled to see

205
00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:46,119
was me!

206
00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:47,839
And I don't blame them.

207
00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:49,919
I am a rather handsome chap.

208
00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:53,480
Go on. Treat yourself
to an imperial close up.

209
00:08:55,640 --> 00:08:59,239
It's 1815 and thousands of people
have gathered

210
00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:01,119
in hundreds of small boats

211
00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:02,479
to catch a glimpse

212
00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:05,439
of the captured
French Emperor, Napoleon.

213
00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:08,719
Welcome to Goggleboats.

214
00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:10,640
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

215
00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:14,959
Hello, Boney!

216
00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:16,919
Oh, he looks smashing!

217
00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:18,919
Totally worth travelling
all the way from Glasgow.

218
00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:20,559
{\an8}Och, totally!

219
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,439
I do like a man in uniform.

220
00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:24,719
Do you like a man
who's been fighting Britain

221
00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:26,439
for the last 23 years?

222
00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:28,000
If he's in uniform, yeah.

223
00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:30,799
THEY LAUGH

224
00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:34,320
I mean, it's good, but I wish
something would actually happen.

225
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:37,519
Look, Mum.

226
00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:38,999
Napoleon took his hat off.

227
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,359
{\an8}Oh, that made it worth
travelling 400 miles.

228
00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:43,040
{\an8}Can we go home now?

229
00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:47,919
CROWD: Boo!

230
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:49,599
Yeah! Yeah!

231
00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:51,439
Boo!

232
00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:52,799
Yeah! Yeah!

233
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:53,919
Boo! Yeah!

234
00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:55,319
Boo! Yeah! Boo!

235
00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:57,519
Boo! Yeah! Boo! Yeah!

236
00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:59,719
Go on, take a bow, son!

237
00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:01,799
Take a bow.

238
00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:04,599
These British,
they're easily amused, no?

239
00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:08,519
Yeah, there is no nation
as foolish as we are.

240
00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:09,840
{\an8}NAPOLEON LAUGHS

241
00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:13,199
So, er, you see Napoleon?
Mm-hm?

242
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,599
He's wearing a bicorn hat,
isn't he, with the two points?

243
00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:17,760
Yeah, and three points is a tricorn.
Mm.

244
00:10:17,761 --> 00:10:21,679
Do you reckon if he got one point,
that makes him a unicorn?

245
00:10:21,680 --> 00:10:23,240
THEY LAUGH

246
00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:26,959
CROWD:
of the homeland...?

247
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,999
Oh, they're singing him
his national anthem!

248
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,479
{\an8}But those aren't the words

249
00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:31,879
{\an8}to the national anthem.

250
00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:33,439
No, Mum.

251
00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:35,959
They're singing him the
French national anthem,

252
00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:36,999
in French.

253
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,239
Why?

254
00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:39,679
Cos he's Fre... never mind.

255
00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:41,399
What's he doing here, anyway?

256
00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:43,919
He's been captured by the Royal Navy
and he's being kept here

257
00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:46,079
until he gets moved to a prison
on a tropical island

258
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:48,559
in the middle of the Atlantic, where
he'll be for the rest of his life.

259
00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:50,439
Hmm, tropical island!

260
00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:51,919
Ha! Oh...

261
00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:53,759
If I knew that was the punishment,

262
00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:55,639
I would have invaded Holland
years ago.

263
00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:57,920
THEY LAUGH

264
00:11:00,611 --> 00:11:06,839
Well, I'm not sure sitting
watching that little French fellow

265
00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:08,439
waving his hat all day

266
00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:10,959
really floats MY holiday boat!

267
00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:14,639
Oh! Gusty! I've always got problems
with wind, one way or the other.

268
00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:15,919
PARP

269
00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:17,279
HE CHUCKLES

270
00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:19,399
Maybe you've been abroad
for a holiday.

271
00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:22,319
Well, in the past, that was
something that only very rich

272
00:11:22,320 --> 00:11:24,759
and powerful people
could afford to do.

273
00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:29,999
In the 17th century, wealthy people
went on trips called Grand Tours.

274
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,439
I don't think you'd be
getting much rest

275
00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:34,200
and relaxation with this lot, hmm.

276
00:11:34,201 --> 00:11:38,439
{\an8}Every year, young lords from
England set off across Europe

277
00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:41,239
{\an8}to learn about Greek
and Roman classic history.

278
00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:42,559
{\an8}Arrrrrr!

279
00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:45,199
{\an8}And they don't always
behave themselves.

280
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:46,879
{\an8}Lords on Tour!

281
00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:50,240
{\an8}Welcome to Grand Lords on Tour 1758.

282
00:11:50,561 --> 00:11:53,199
{\an8}I'm the Bear Leader.

283
00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:55,999
{\an8}It's my job to ensure
these young gentlemen

284
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:59,359
{\an8}have a educational
and enriching time.

285
00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:01,279
Give us a kiss, Bear Leader!

286
00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:03,399
PLEASE put that back.
That is a priceless article!

287
00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:04,919
SMASH
Oh!

288
00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:07,079
LORDS LAUGH
Oh, no! It was so old!

289
00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:08,559
Made a bit of a mess.

290
00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:11,159
Ha-ha, priceless!
We're having a smashing time!

291
00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:13,159
THEY LAUGH

292
00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:16,079
The Tour is a cultural
experience for the young lords.

293
00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:17,359
LORDS: Ohhh!

294
00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:18,559
James Cecil,

295
00:12:18,560 --> 00:12:20,119
sixth Earl of Salisbury,

296
00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:22,639
er, King's cousin
and wealthiest man in Shropshire,

297
00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:24,679
and I'm here to explore
the philosophies

298
00:12:24,680 --> 00:12:27,959
and sights of, erm,
the ancient past, and...

299
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:29,679
...to party!

300
00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:31,119
LIVELY CLASSICAL MUSIC

301
00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:32,679
No, no, no!

302
00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:34,359
I'll be careful!

303
00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:36,239
I'm not going to lie,
I'm having the time of my life.

304
00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:37,439
We're going to the beach.

305
00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:39,400
I've spent so much money. �3,000.

306
00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:42,359
Is that a lot?

307
00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:43,799
Come back here now!

308
00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:45,599
The whole point of the Grand Tour

309
00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:48,399
is like, it's a kind of
finishing school for landed gentry,

310
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:49,799
you know what I'm saying?

311
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:52,439
We get to see all the places
we've studied in real life,

312
00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:55,279
like Florence, Constantinople,

313
00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:56,559
Rome, the...

314
00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:58,279
HE BURPS
...Balkans.

315
00:12:58,280 --> 00:12:59,919
THEY LAUGH

316
00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:02,199
Yeah, we started in
the Alps, climbing.

317
00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:04,279
It was actually quite tough.
No, no, no, not for me.

318
00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:06,600
I got one of the locals
to carry me up in a chair.

319
00:13:06,601 --> 00:13:11,359
Some people get very upset
with the young lords' behaviour.

320
00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:13,279
No, no, no, no, no, no.

321
00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:15,919
The folly of British boys
has gained us the title

322
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,199
Golden Asses, all over Italy.

323
00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:20,719
THEY SHOUT

324
00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:22,679
Next week, the tour moves
to Athens...

325
00:13:22,680 --> 00:13:24,199
Last one in the lake's lame!

326
00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:25,959
...where the boys study Pythagoras

327
00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:28,360
and Lord Cecil
is sick on the Parthenon.

328
00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:36,239
Yo, yo, yo!

329
00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:38,519
It's your boy Ibn Battuta here,

330
00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:40,039
international traveller

331
00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:41,279
extraordinaire!

332
00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:42,599
Naire! Naire!

333
00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:45,199
Follow me as I go on the Hajj.

334
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:48,999
That's an Islamic holy
pilgrimage to Saudi Arabia.

335
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,520
Next stop, Mecca. Boy!

336
00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:57,159
Yo! I'm in India!

337
00:13:57,160 --> 00:13:58,279
What?!

338
00:13:58,280 --> 00:13:59,439
I did go to Mecca,

339
00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:01,559
but then I love travelling so much,
I just kept on going.

340
00:14:01,560 --> 00:14:03,159
{\an8}Oh, and guess what?

341
00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:05,399
{\an8}The Sultan of India's
only hired me

342
00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:06,799
{\an8}as his ambassador!

343
00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:08,600
{\an8}Best holiday ever!

344
00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:13,999
The Sultan of India is sending
me to China. I can't wait!

345
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:16,080
Bandits are coming.
Run for your life!

346
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:18,960
Eh?

347
00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:23,479
I'm in a ditch,
hiding from the bandits.

348
00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:25,119
{\an8}Worst holiday ever!

349
00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:26,719
He's hiding in the ditch!

350
00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:28,399
Probably shouldn't
have shouted that out.

351
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:30,320
{\an8}WHISPERS: Worst holiday ever!

352
00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:34,479
It's your boy Battuta here.

353
00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:36,639
The bandits are keeping me
prisoner in a cave.

354
00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:38,519
As caves go,
it's a nice one, but...

355
00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:39,799
Ah!

356
00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:41,079
I'm OK...

357
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:42,239
...I think.

358
00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:44,679
A villager freed me! Yay!

359
00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:47,079
All I had to do was give him
all my clothes!

360
00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:48,879
But he let me keep my trousers.

361
00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:50,559
From now on,
they are officially

362
00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:52,279
my lucky trousers!

363
00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:55,239
Yeah. Now, onward to China!

364
00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:56,680
Yeah, boy!

365
00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:02,719
So, on the way to China,
I stopped off at Ceylon.

366
00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:05,799
Say what? Nothing
but blue skies ahead

367
00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:07,239
for your boy Battuta!

368
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,199
{\an8}Best holiday ever!

369
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:11,439
THUNDERCLAP

370
00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:12,840
I'm sure that'll blow over.

371
00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:18,239
My ship got caught in a storm.
The others made a raft,

372
00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:20,839
but they said there was
no room for your boy Battuta

373
00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:23,399
so, you know,
here I am...

374
00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:25,039
...on a sinking ship.

375
00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:27,639
{\an8}Worst holiday ever.

376
00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:30,519
HE THROWS UP

377
00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:31,959
Ah!

378
00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:33,320
SPLASH

379
00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:37,399
Rrrrrrrr-escued!

380
00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:39,599
New ship, new friends!

381
00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:41,359
Battuta's luck's in, boy.

382
00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:43,039
{\an8}Best holiday ev...

383
00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:45,079
Pirates are coming,
run for your lives!

384
00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:47,040
Oh, come on!

385
00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:50,719
The ship was robbed by pirates

386
00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:53,559
and my clothes were stolen again.

387
00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:55,559
But it's not all doom and gloom.

388
00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:58,439
I've still got my lucky trousers!

389
00:15:58,440 --> 00:15:59,719
Woo!

390
00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:02,759
And I have travelled 75,000 miles,

391
00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:04,719
so, actually...

392
00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:06,199
{\an8}...best holiday ever!

393
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:07,480
{\an8}Ever, ever!

394
00:16:07,481 --> 00:16:10,399
Oh, what are we going to do
this summer?

395
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:12,599
Oh, probably nothing again.
Hmm.

396
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:14,559
Not if I have anything
to do with it!

397
00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:15,719
Who are you?!

398
00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:17,479
Hi, I'm Thomas Cook,

399
00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:20,559
and I'm going to give you
the trip of a lifetime.

400
00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:22,639
Oh! Oh!
Oh, she's gone.

401
00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:25,519
New Thomas Cook Holidays!

402
00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:27,399
In the first holiday of its kind,

403
00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:31,559
I'm packaging together an incredible
trip for the whole family,

404
00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:33,799
all the way from Leicester

405
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:35,160
to Loughborough.

406
00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:38,399
Wait, did you say, "Loughborough"?

407
00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:40,919
Ooh, Loughborough!

408
00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:42,279
Er, yeah.

409
00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:43,679
Well, that's only 11 miles away.

410
00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:44,919
That's right!

411
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:46,239
A whole 11 miles

412
00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:48,119
of luxury train travel!

413
00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:49,319
{\an8}Oh!

414
00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:50,599
{\an8}Whoa, whoa, whoa! Steady, mate.

415
00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:52,519
Oh, so we're going first class?
Well...

416
00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:53,999
Second class?

417
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:57,719
One carriage of holiday-makers
will be going second class.

418
00:16:57,720 --> 00:16:59,799
The other nine will be
going third class.

419
00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:02,200
Your very own seat on a train!

420
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:05,039
Probably.

421
00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:06,919
And this trip is all-inclusive,

422
00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:09,879
with food provided
at our destination.

423
00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:12,639
Oh, that actually sounds quite good.
What are we having?

424
00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:14,400
A cup of tea and...

425
00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:18,599
{\an8}Oh. So much for luxury.

426
00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:20,439
We'll be giving
out free flags to wave

427
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:22,759
and there'll be a band playing

428
00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:25,399
to welcome you
on your arrival.

429
00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:27,760
{\an8}It's a dream getaway!

430
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:30,719
It's a third class train ticket,

431
00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:32,319
a ham sandwich and a cheap flag.

432
00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:34,559
Yeah, it doesn't really
sound like a holiday.

433
00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:36,639
Look, there are no other
package holidays.

434
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:40,919
This is the first one, so it's
literally just this or stay at home.

435
00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:42,959
Sign me up.
Yeah. Me, too.

436
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:44,359
{\an8}Oh, thanks, guys.

437
00:17:44,360 --> 00:17:46,119
{\an8}Thomas Cook Holidays.

438
00:17:46,120 --> 00:17:48,519
Where will your next
adventure take you?

439
00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:49,999
To be honest, it's
probably going to be

440
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:51,960
Loughborough again next year, but...

441
00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:56,879
When I'm on holiday, I love a treat.

442
00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:59,639
That might be a trip to
something like a theme park,

443
00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:02,679
or eating something tasty!

444
00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:04,079
Hello, you!

445
00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:05,679
Nice candyfloss!

446
00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:07,999
And in my book,
the bigger the better.

447
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:09,959
In Victorian times, though,

448
00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:14,639
they had teeny tiny servings
of ice cream called penny licks.

449
00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:16,079
Mm. Ah!

450
00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:17,639
I dropped my candyfloss in the bin.

451
00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:20,279
Oh! I'll go and get it.

452
00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:21,999
Oh, bonus!

453
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:24,079
I love toppings!

454
00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:25,400
Mm!

455
00:18:25,401 --> 00:18:29,959
Just when you thought the British
summer time couldn't get any better.

456
00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:32,799
Oh, look over there!
It's the ice cream cart!

457
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:36,079
Yes, it's everyone's favourite
Victorian summer treat -

458
00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:37,399
the penny lick,

459
00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:40,599
the refreshing instant snack
that you can share with friends.

460
00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:42,519
One penny lick, please.

461
00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:44,999
Our taste sensations include lemon,

462
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,719
strawberry, vanilla

463
00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:48,079
and the saliva and germs

464
00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:49,879
of whoever had the glass last.

465
00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:51,199
Flavour?

466
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:52,759
Erm, er, vanilla,

467
00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:54,559
without the saliva and germs.

468
00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:56,159
They ain't optional.

469
00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:58,799
Right. And how much is a penny lick?

470
00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:00,279
Are you trying to be funny?

471
00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:01,599
{\an8}The penny lick costs you

472
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:02,639
{\an8}just one penny...

473
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:04,479
Well, yes, I suppose that is cheap.

474
00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:06,519
...and a fairly high
risk of infection.

475
00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:09,119
You do wash these glasses,
don't you? Yeah, sometimes.

476
00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:10,679
Achoo!

477
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:14,639
I mean, if it's been properly
licked clean, there's no need.

478
00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:16,199
HE SPITS

479
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:18,159
Beautifully licked clean.

480
00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:20,119
You could eat your dinner off that.

481
00:19:20,120 --> 00:19:21,919
I love them
because the cold gives me

482
00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:24,639
relief from the sores
around my mouth. Ah!

483
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:26,119
Pick a penny lick.

484
00:19:26,120 --> 00:19:27,519
They're quick, they're thick

485
00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:29,759
and there's a chance
they won't make you sick.

486
00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:32,119
One penny lick, please,
and have one yourself.

487
00:19:32,120 --> 00:19:34,239
You're joking, ain't you?

488
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:36,120
I'm not eating that.

489
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:39,080
HE SNORTS

490
00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:45,519
Madame, I present the most
thrilling new experience in Paris,

491
00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:48,039
the first of its kind
in the whole world.

492
00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:51,319
But it's just a wooden cart
on a tiny train track.

493
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:53,119
It is so much more than that.

494
00:19:53,120 --> 00:19:54,399
I'm sure that's fine. Oh!

495
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:56,999
In years to come,
people will travel the world

496
00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:59,719
and queue all day,
just to ride one of these.

497
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:02,399
We call it Les Montagnes Russes.

498
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:04,279
Bon chance. Oh, aha!

499
00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:07,999
After those huge ice slides
that look like little mountains.

500
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,399
Precisely-y-y! Ah!

501
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:12,799
Of course, we don't have
much ice here in Paris.

502
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:14,919
That is why we use the tracks.

503
00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:18,199
So we are just in a box, hurtling
down a hill very, very fast.

504
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,079
Oui! Isn't it awesome?

505
00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:22,879
Er, shouldn't we wear
some kind of safety strap

506
00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:25,759
to keep us from flying out
if it stops suddenly?

507
00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:27,599
That sounds like a great idea,

508
00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:28,999
but it's a bit late right now!

509
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:30,759
{\an8}BOTH: Ahhh!

510
00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:32,479
Oh!
I'm sure the tracks

511
00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:34,759
will keep us going
in the right direction.

512
00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:36,039
BANG

513
00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:38,279
Er, what happens if
the wheels come off?

514
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:39,959
{\an8}I guess we're about
to find out!

515
00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:42,359
{\an8}Oh, the exhilaration!
The danger!

516
00:20:42,360 --> 00:20:44,719
That is so much fun! Woohoo!

517
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:48,159
Ahh! Why would anyone
find danger fu-u-u-u-un?

518
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:49,639
I don't know, Madame,

519
00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:52,439
but the more injuries
people have on this ride,

520
00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:54,519
the more popular it becomes!

521
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,079
I would like to
get off now.

522
00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:58,120
I am going to
be sick of it.

523
00:20:58,121 --> 00:21:01,919
I'm afraid there is
no way to stop the ride

524
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:03,799
until we get to the bottom.

525
00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:05,959
Woohoo! Ahhh!

526
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:07,719
Yeah!

527
00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:09,359
Oh! Ah! Ooh...

528
00:21:09,360 --> 00:21:11,399
That's if we do stop at the bottom.

529
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:14,319
Just because the track stops,
doesn't mean we will!

530
00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:16,799
Hee-hee-ee!

531
00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:18,719
Scream if you want to go faster!

532
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:20,199
Ahhh!

533
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:21,400
COW MOOS

534
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:23,879
Let's go again!

535
00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:25,920
I am going home. Oh.

536
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:32,159
So, you go on roller-coasters
and eat ice creams on your holidays?

537
00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:35,439
I've got no idea what
roller-coasters and ice creams are!

538
00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:36,919
Or holidays.

539
00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:39,159
In Medieval times,
we don't have anything like that.

540
00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:40,959
Well, not exactly, anyway.

541
00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:43,319
Bit more, bit more. Bit more.

542
00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:44,599
I'm trying to do it safely.

543
00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:46,519
Ah! Ahh!

544
00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:47,879
Oh, hello.

545
00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:49,999
We're just building
a medieval church.

546
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:52,759
It's hard work, innit, Dave?
Yeah!

547
00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:54,999
I'm shattered.
A bit like my foot.

548
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:56,239
HE WHIMPERS

549
00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:58,559
But luckily,
building medieval churches

550
00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:00,959
does mean you get
a bit of time off now and again.

551
00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:02,679
But can you tell me why?

552
00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:04,080
Is it because...?

553
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:15,519
...and pretend it's
the end of the day.

554
00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:16,919
The answer is...

555
00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:19,399
...B. We get some holy days off.

556
00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:22,479
In fact, that's where your word
"holidays" comes from -

557
00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:23,879
our holy days.

558
00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:25,959
Yeah, where you going for
your holy feast tomorrow, Ted?

559
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:27,599
Church, same as everyone else.

560
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:30,759
Cor. Well, we'd better
finish building it, then!

561
00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:32,279
Ah! Oh...

562
00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:33,520
You're all right.

563
00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:36,719
Hey! Hi, guys!

564
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:38,039
Holiday time!

565
00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:40,959
I can't believe
I am going to my first

566
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:42,479
Thesmophoria!

567
00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:45,519
She is going to love it!

568
00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:47,199
A girls-only festival,

569
00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:49,199
right here in Ancient Athens,

570
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:51,559
celebrating the
fertility goddess Demeter!

571
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:52,919
Woo!

572
00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:54,159
You are an absolute

573
00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:55,639
bottom-faced poop-for-brains

574
00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:57,959
for having not gone before!
That's actually quite hurtful.

575
00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:01,039
Oh, no, babes, that's
the pre-party bit of Thesmophoria

576
00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:02,879
where we all insult each other.

577
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:04,360
You hairy smellbag!

578
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:08,239
You have... a butt
like the Parthenon.

579
00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:09,919
Because it's big, old and smelly.

580
00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:12,240
Yay! Great Thesmophoria insult!

581
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:15,119
Oh, hiya!

582
00:23:15,120 --> 00:23:16,399
Olympia,

583
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:18,559
you look... amazing!

584
00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:21,079
She knows about the pig guts, right?
What?

585
00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:22,919
Girlies love guts!

586
00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:24,759
We sacrifice piglets

587
00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:27,159
and then we mix
their guts with dough!

588
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:30,519
Hit the link for more easy-breezy
guts and dough recipes!

589
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:32,399
And then we throw them
all into a big pit.

590
00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:33,599
ALL: Yay!

591
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:35,679
{\an8}One woman gets chosen to be
something called the bailer

592
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:36,839
{\an8}and they have to kind of

593
00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:39,199
go into the pit
and scooch around in all of the

594
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:40,479
pig gut mush,

595
00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:43,399
and then they scoop it all up
and spread it on the altar.

596
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:45,119
Congratulations.

597
00:23:45,120 --> 00:23:47,799
We thought it'd be cool
if you were the bailer this year.

598
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:49,439
You're so lucky, Olympia.

599
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:50,759
Hashtag blessed.

600
00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:52,239
She bailed!

601
00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:55,999
Can you believe you got to be
bailer at your first Thesmophoria?

602
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:57,399
I honestly can't.

603
00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:59,199
Thesmophoria gift time!

604
00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:00,799
SHE OINKS LIKE A PIG

605
00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:03,479
Hit below to buy our very own
terracotta piggy collection,

606
00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:05,279
perfect for you and your friends!

607
00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:08,079
You know, sometimes we just
give each other the gifts instead

608
00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:10,639
of bothering with all the bailer
and somebody scooping around

609
00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:13,399
in all the pig gut mush stuff!
Wait, what?

610
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:16,399
What, so the... the gunk smooshing,
that was all optional?!

611
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:17,839
You butt-brained,

612
00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:20,279
bone-headed, baboon-bottomed bores!

613
00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:23,999
Awkward. Actually, erm, the insults
are at the START of the festival.

614
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:26,679
TEARFULLY: Yeah, that was
actually quite hurtful.

615
00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:28,520
Don't forget to like and subscribe.

616
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:34,399
Pig guts? Now, that
sounds like my kind of festival!

617
00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:35,759
Is it all you can eat?

618
00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:37,319
LOUD RUMBLING

619
00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:40,319
Oh! That's made me hungry now.

620
00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:43,559
Still, nothing beats my
favourite kind of holiday.

621
00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:46,679
I do like to be beside the seaside,

622
00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:48,799
and we've got Queen Victoria
to thank

623
00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:51,239
for helping make seaside
holidays popular.

624
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:54,359
But it was people like
holiday camp pioneer Billy Butlin

625
00:24:54,360 --> 00:24:55,760
who really changed things.

626
00:24:57,280 --> 00:25:00,239
Thanks to him, seaside breaks
became more affordable

627
00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:03,359
for everyone - from queens to rats.

628
00:25:03,360 --> 00:25:04,600
Happy holidays!

629
00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:07,240
? Yeah

630
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:11,239
? Ah!

631
00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:12,839
? Oh, no

632
00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:16,199
? The beach was not traditionally
where one would go

633
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:18,079
? And here in Bognor

634
00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:20,759
? Yeah, this water's so cold!

635
00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:24,679
? But doctors said
it helps to make your gout go

636
00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:26,000
? Gout go

637
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:29,079
? It's cool to be by the sea

638
00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:31,359
? Now it's cool to be by the sea!

639
00:25:31,360 --> 00:25:32,799
? I like to be by the sea

640
00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:35,159
? And to take all my family

641
00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:36,999
? I change in a bathing machine

642
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:39,439
? I see the sea but it can't see me

643
00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:43,199
? Even a royal empress
needs this vacation by the sea

644
00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:45,000
? I'm promenading

645
00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:49,079
? While the kids are
bucket-and-spading

646
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:50,479
? Oh, yeah!

647
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:53,359
? In the sea we're
paddling and wading

648
00:25:53,360 --> 00:25:55,519
? Na-na-na-na

649
00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:59,119
? Break by the ocean
Break by the ocean

650
00:25:59,120 --> 00:26:00,919
? Donkey rides, baby

651
00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:02,399
DONKEY BRAYS

652
00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:04,879
? Or they'll dig a sand castle maybe

653
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:06,319
? Oh, yeah!

654
00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:09,080
? Watch a Punch and Judy show daily

655
00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:11,719
? Na-na-na-na

656
00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:14,639
? Break by the ocean
Break by the ocean... ?

657
00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:15,839
Ayy!

658
00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:16,920
Ahh!

659
00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:21,559
? Seaside

660
00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:25,519
? Factory workers sure
like to be beside

661
00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:28,959
? I thought for their week off
I could provide

662
00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:32,839
? A holiday with entertainment
supplied

663
00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:34,680
? Supplied

664
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:37,479
? Holiday camp by the sea

665
00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:39,639
? My holiday camp by the sea

666
00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:43,839
? I called it "Butlins"
cos I named it after me

667
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:45,479
? I'll do everything I can

668
00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:47,799
? To make my campers all happy

669
00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:49,879
? Catering for all their needs... ?

670
00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:51,239
Obviously, for a fee.

671
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:52,359
KER-CHING!

672
00:26:52,360 --> 00:26:53,680
? Candy floss, baby

673
00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:57,359
? Or a knobbly knee contest maybe

674
00:26:57,360 --> 00:26:58,999
? Oh, yeah!

675
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:02,040
? Grandparents, mums, dads
and their babies

676
00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:05,919
ALL:

677
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:08,399
? Break by the ocean

678
00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:09,799
? It's cool to be by the sea

679
00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:11,999
? Now it's cool to be by the sea

680
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:13,799
? Yeah, yeah, when we came along

681
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:16,119
? It became a cool place to be

682
00:27:16,120 --> 00:27:18,119
? I wish that we could stay
It's cool to be by the sea

683
00:27:18,120 --> 00:27:20,319
? And it's all thanks to him and me
Na-na-na-na

684
00:27:20,320 --> 00:27:25,119
? Break by the ocean
Break by the ocean. ?

685
00:27:25,120 --> 00:27:27,359
Shall we all go and get
fish and chips?

686
00:27:27,360 --> 00:27:28,680
ALL: Yeah!

687
00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:34,680
? Candyfloss, baby. ?

688
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:38,760
Shall we all go
and get fish and...? LAUGHS

689
00:27:43,120 --> 00:27:45,959
? The past is no longer a mystery

690
00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:47,599
? Hope you enjoyed

691
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:51,160
? Horrible Histories. ?

692
00:27:51,210 --> 00:27:55,760
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